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8.07.2006

Lost and Found

Rings.

I'm just killing some of my "I'm-trying-to-be-patient" time with some random musings...there is a thread on 2Peas today about wearing wedding rings or choosing not to. I have some thoughts on that...gee, I know you are shocked, right.

Joal sang 3 songs at our wedding. I will never forget when he sat down on the stool, began to play the quiet opening notes of "Love of a Lifetime" after we had exchanged vows and rings. He played a few notes, stopped completely and held up his hand, he readjusted the pick in his hand and smiled at me. "I've never played with a wedding ring on." he said. Then he went on and finished the song. It was one of many funny sweet moments of our wedding.

We both have gold bands, both engraved with our wedding date and I have a small solitaire. We got married in college, almost 15 years ago, when 3 months salary wasn't nearly what it is today. LOL! I'm OK with that tho. I do love my rings.

Joal has worn his wedding band everyday from that day to this. His finger has a grove where the band sits. I love that.

Nine months after we were married, I lost my wedding rings. We were moving to our first apartment from the lowly married-student housing and when I was cleaning, I took off my rings and put them in a cup on our dining table. I forgot to put them back on before I left for an evening class. While I was in class, Joal and our friend David decided to use their dinner break to move some of the larger items to our apartment, including the table. The items on the table got moved to a box, including the cup. Unfortunately, by the time I caught up with the cup in the box, my rings weren't there.

I have rarely been that sad.

Joal said all the right things. "We'll get you a new one." and "It's just a ring. We are married, with or without it." but there wasn't much consolation. I remember feeling helpless and hopeless. All through the moving process, we hunted for them. We went thru every box, hoping it got stuck in the folds or something, but to no avail.

Word got around. (It was a small school.) I worked in the library and for days, every library patron would see my hand and ask "Where's your rings?" or "Haven't found the rings yet?" It was difficult and I felt horrible.

And then one day about a month later...after class, I was in the cafeteria studying, when David came in. He was beaming with a smile--something that was very unusual for him. He sat down next to me and held out his hand. "I think these belongs to you." he said and in his hand lay both my wedding rings.

Come to find out, one of the single faculty members moved into our place after we moved out. He hired one of the students, my friend Kim, to do some housekeeping for him. In her cleaning, she discovered my rings, but she hadn't heard about my loss. She decided to turn them in to the office. David worked in the office and was there when she brought them in. He knew just who they belonged to and he came to find me immediately.

It was a sweet day.

Since then, I have rarely taken them off. Pretty much the only time I've been without them, I was in the hospital giving birth. My rings were important to me before I lost them, but became even more important after that incident.

Yes, I know they are just a symbol, and we are still married, whether we wear them or not. But to me, a wedding ring says something. It's a declaration. It's a reminder. It's an unmistakable signal. It makes the lines of demarcation very clear.

He is claimed.
Spoken for.
Committed.

I am claimed.
Spoken for.
Committed.

And we want there to be no room for doubt.

I like that.

6 comments:

Debby said...

You made me cry, that's an awesome story and I couldn't agree with you more. My parents are never without theirs and I intend to be the same someday when I get them!

Nancy-Rose said...

What a sweet post - thanks for sharing this story.

Mattie Moo's Mom said...

I love my rings, but right now with a baby I can't wear them because of the number of dishes I have to wash I have made a chemical burn where the soap was trapped underneath -- trust me you can SEE I am spoken for with a bright red ring! I look forward to my finger healing so I can go back to wearing them!

Leigh Ann said...

Rob wears his constantly. I take mine off to shower and sleep. I can't stand to wear jewelry to do either. I put them on my watch band and close the clasp and knock on wood I haven't lost them yet. A few times I've gotten distracted in the morning and forgotten to put them on before I leave work and I just hate that. My hand feels naked without them. We'll celebrate 10 years in November.

Mimi said...

What an amazing story!

I can't sleep with my rings on - I hate the feel, and since I have a pearl, I don't wear it in water at all, so I take my rings off a lot.
Dh has lost his original one (which was made by my late FIL, as was mine) but wears his replacement almost all the time.

Our 15th anniversary was this year as well.

Shanna C said...

Loved your story - it was very sweet and speaks volumes about your love for Joal.