Forgive me, Lord when I complain...

When I find myself wrapped up and swallowed by the difficulty of living with a child who is not--and likely never will be--whole, I tend to wallow in the muck of self-pity and disappointment. I get cynical. I question. I doubt. I allow some measure of dispair to take root in my soul, even though I know that this is not my burden to carry alone. I've mourned the loss of how things should have been with this child from the very day of his birth. There have been times when I felt "over it". Or at least as over it as I can be. And yet still, some days, the tenticles of struggle reclaims me. The hurt of motherhood. The disappointment in acknowledging the chasm that exists between what I want for him and what he will be able to achieve. The brokeness of his body that places limits on him that even my unwavering belief in him can not erace, no matter how I try. I know it's wrong to wallow and something I should find repentance for more often. I know in my heart that the God of the universe made Julian just the way he is for just the parents he has. At least, I know that on good days. On days that don't feel so good, perhaps they are not-so-good because I have lost sight of that.

The path to a downward spiral is not a slow one for me. It's more like a super-tall, super-steep, super-shiney slide at the park. Once I sit my backside on the crest and scootch off the flat part, the ride to the very bottom is fast and furious. I've been there many times and it's an ugly, dark place. I get there fast and stay there too long. Those are days that I have allowed to be stolen from me and I find that to be a disgrace. Dis-grace. {a place where grace does not abound}

And in the midst of my disgrace, the still small voice of the Savior speaks to my soul, through the gentle beautiful words of a blog, no less--the blog of a woman who is sharing her heart's story on becoming the mother of another broken child--a child more broken than mine, if our brokeness has quantitation.

And suddenly, I can't help myself. The looking inward selfishness becomes focused and I feel I must cry for her. And I cling to her hope when says "but my Jesus is the same." (I've taken up this phrase. It has many uses.) Why does becoming a mother so often bring so much sorrow and hurt? Why? Because in the sorrow, we see our need for the strength and peace of the Savior. Brokeness magnifies need and the only One who can meet that deep need for beautiful grace. The utter disgrace sounds the alarm for the giver of grace to meet his daughters right square in the muck of their brokeness and dis-gracefullness.

from Psalm 147

Praise the Lord!
It is good to sing praises to our God; it is good and pleasant to
praise him. The Lord rebuilds Jerusalem; he brings back the captured
Israelites.

He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their
wounds.

He counts the stars and names each one.

Our Lord is great and very powerful. There is no limit to what he
knows. The Lord defends the humble, but he throws the wicked to the
ground.

Sing praises to the Lord; praise our God with
harps. He fills the sky with clouds and sends rain to the
earth and makes grass grow on the hills. He gives food to
cattle and to the little birds that call.

He is not impressed with the strength of a horse or with human
might. The Lord is pleased with those who respect him, with those who
trust his love.

Lord, let me trust your love today.

Angie's Blog

simple things that bring me smiles...

I'm a pretty simple girl.

I like simple things--

• Like when my husband goes out of his way to be a good friend to his good friend.
• Like why my little boy says "moma, your hair tickles my face."
• Like when the dress for this year's cruise is 5 sizes smaller than the dress worn at the last cruise and it fits like a glove!
• Like when Tammy emails me to say that there is new Scenic Route awaiting.
• Like ice-cold Diet Coke from a quart Mason jar.
• Like Stickles...on anything!
• Like finding a great idea in a very old magazine.
• Like jars of buttons all in a row!
• Like finding the perfect pair of shoes for $10.
• Like Julian's dinner table declaration of "moma, you are an excellent chef."
• Like a friend who came to my rescue in the "camera ordeal".
• Like the Daffodils that have begun to pop their bold green foliage from the still-cold winter ground in front of my window, promising that spring is well on it's way.
• Like the little boy who wants to be made into a taco before he can sleep. Three times a night.

Yep. Simple things.

PSA: Back door guests

There is no law that says I must answer if a stranger rings my doorbell. Right? Right. Hence, when I am home alone or alone with 2 children, I do not usually answer the door unless the bell-ringer is one of 6 kinds of people:

1 - someone I know, like my neighbors
2 - a FedEx delivery person, with appropriately labelled truck and uniform
3 - a UPS delivery person, with appropriately labelled truck and uniform
4 - a USPS delivery person, with appropriately labelled little truck and uniform
5 - a repair person that I have called and am expecting
6 - someone in a uniform, bearing a warrant (maybe) lol!

If you don't meet one of these six criteria, your bell-ringing and knocking may very well go unanswered, no matter how incessant you may be. As a home-owner, that is my right. I don't like answering the door to people I don't know. Period. It makes me uncomfortable. It creeps me out. Seriously. It gives people too much information. My sweet husband would be happy to live with our front inner door open to let the sunshine in...but I am not that free. Salesmen, political candidates or poll-takers, real estate people, religious witnesses-- you do not have top-secret clearance and I'm (not really) sorry if that disappoints you.

It's possible that I might make an exception if there's a van in my driveway that bears the Publisher's Clearing House logo and the person ringing the doorbell is holding one of those oversized checks, flowers and a tv camera. Maybe. If you look trustworthy and respectable. And the check is really really astronomically large. Otherwise. No.

It's my house.
I get to decide who I let in.

And don't go thinking that you are special enough to use the back door. No way. No how. So sorry. If you don't meet the aforementioned criteria, and you come to my back door, you dang well better be ready for a confrontation mommy-style. If I am choosing not to open my front door to you *because I don't know you*, you can be sure that I don't want to see you peering in my back door or talking to my children in the back yard. You are on private property--private property that you have no right to be intruding upon. Don't even think about coming to my back door unless you know my children's names and unless you have earned the right to be called a back-door friend. If there is any doubt...don't.

So there.

(It's a good thing I don't own a piece of heavy artillery today.)

---Why is the spell-check not working today?---

How I Got Started

Ironically enough, on the day that I finally decide to go back to basic and shed the un-used excess...the 2Peas blog writing prompt is to write about how you got started in this craft.

LOL.
It'a very funny story.
You can read it here.

Starting Over Sale

I'm starting over.
Where scrapbooking is concerned.
Selling stuff cheap.
Check it out at SBA.

The Dress

This is the dress I chose for the cruise.

Diesel and the Love of Writing

My Quickutz class on Saturday was - apparently - a hit. (I don't say this lightly. I've been out of teaching for a while and felt quite rusty in the face of 12 class participants.)

But.

They--each and every one--signed up for more...so something must have been OK.

Big deep sigh of relief here.

My successful class also yielded my purchase of the new Quickutz Grand Diesel. Man. Those babies are big. The card shown here is a 6x6 card and these are the lower case letters...

I've done a whole series of these red-on-black cards, just because I love these letters. I think the series is up to 7 now. I would share them all but my camera is having a temper fit and I hate scanning. So this taste will have to suffice.

The camera - It won't register the card...and of course, I can't find the right USB cord, which, come to think of it, kindof goes against the term "universal service" doesn't it. I have a USB cord, but not the right USB cord.

Go figure.

My camera is only saving photos to it's very minute internal memory chip and is refusing to save to the very sizable card that I have been using for years. Just suddenly. Won't read. The card reads on the computer fine.

I'm not feeling the love right now. I can not do a cruise in one month without a dependable camera. Can not. Rarely does a day go by that I don't use my camera. I really need it to be healthy again. Today would be nice.

In other news, the laundry closet that caught on fire is all put back together now, thanks to my handy husband and his electrician friend. I'm still grateful that it wasn't any worse.

If I could just get by without any sleep, I think I'd be a more productive person. Yes, it's 2 am and yes, I'm blogging and scrapbooking and catching up on the laundry...I need to go to bed because tomorrow is going to come really early and I have much to do...but I would just rather enjoy the quiet.

A few days ago, Rebecca blogged about keeping a diary and I really related to what she wrote. I started back to journaling (the grown up word for keeping a diary) a few days after Christmas and I must say, it's like coming back to an old friend after years of neglect. Yes, blogging is a form of journaling, but there is something so much more life-giving and sensual about the feel of a pen in your hand and a page of a book that is filled with your private, unadulterated thoughts and feelings. I thrive on written words - hand-written words, pressed with thought into paper, scrawled in ink so there can be no after-thought editing. What is written, stays written. There is no editing. Not now. Not ever.

A diary isn't very technical, in fact, it's very un-technical. It's a pen on paper. Slow and sweet. Scratchy or smooth, depending on the kind of pen and the kind of paper. It is also very emotional. Words and thoughts flowing freely--being taken out and played with, as if they were toys. Being examined deeply and thoroughly, turned over and over, looked at from every angle and explored from every facet. It's freeing. It's also self-discovery. Sometimes that's not pretty, but it is honest and mostly worthwhile, I think. I hope.

Writing is a slow task for me--significantly slower than typing (and I am not a very good typist), but it seems that the forced slow-down gives me a chance to think slower too. When I'm writing with a pen, I tend to choose words with more care and even a little more creativity. Somewhere I read that for his first few novels, John Grisham wrote on yellow legal pads. I can see how that would work for him. Can you imagine what those papers are worth?

The act of writing is slowly slipping away from our culture--it's becoming a secondary skill and I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with that. There's something very personal about handwriting. A person's signature...so valuable, even sometimes collectible. Does anyone really write letters anymore? When Joal and I were dating, we traded handwritten love letters on a daily basis. Sixteen years later we trade sweet notes written on the insides of cards a few times a year. His sweet letters from those early days of our love are some of my most treasured possessions.

My mom is (and always has been) an extraordinary letter-writer, although even she has resorted to email lately. Her penmanship has always been impeccable and her letters so filled up with who she is and how things are. I have every letter she's ever written me and again, I treasure them.

Let's write some letters, shall we?

She Said it First

So, since July of last year, I've been "on the wagon" nutritionally and medicinally as a diabetic person making changes from her bad habits and adopting better ones. As a result of the diet changes, the excercise and some fairly powerful medication, I've been seeing some pretty significant weight-loss, and while I don't mention it often here, because I'm still a little uncomfortable talking about it, I'm summoning the courage to make an exception today. You can thank Hollye. She wrote this in her blog:

As for my weight...I still have no idea how much
I have lost. I know that I can now take my favorite pants off without
unbuttoning them. I do not go back to the doctor until the 23rd, so I will find
out then if all this has paid off. I'm stuggling with the food and counting
calories right now. I think I am so worried that I am going to go over my 1400
calories that I am not eating enough. I really need to work on that.

Hey. I've wanted to write about that...the ability to slide ones favorite, formerly snug jeans off without unbuttoning and unzipping is a powerful accomplishment! I know. The last time it happened to me, (a few weeks ago) I wore the same pair of jeans several times in one week, just for the priviledge of prefoming this meneuver. :) Now of course, they are really too big and it's dangerous to wear them, as they might hit the floor of their own accord. Can't have that.

Weight and weight reduction are such personal issues for me. A lifetime of bad habits and poorly handled emotions got me in this jam, and getting out and up has not been an easy road. It's much easier now because, in a weird way, success breeds success. Of course, the flip side for me is that failure breeds failure. Breaking the cycle of failure, when it happens is that hardest thing I do.

But boy, the accompishments are sweet. Accomplishments, like the new-found ability to shop at a variety of stores. Back in September, I purchased a pair of pants at Old Navy. From the Misses section, as opposed to the *Womens*. Most people wouldn't know what an awesome feeling it is to be able to shop at a normal store and in a normal-sized section. It's something I haven't done for too many years.

Another accomplishment: not hating pictures of myself. In Novemeber, my mom sent me a package of photos of our last trip to see her. In it, was one picture of Grey, with me in the background. I saw it and it honestly stunned me. For the first time in a very long time, I didn't wince at my own reflection. I looked happy.

I seriously doubt if the term "skinnieminnie" will ever be directed at me, although I wouldn't complain if it was. I'm 5' 6". I'll never be petite. I'll always wear a size 9 shoe. LOL! But being healthier, slimmer and feeling better about the way I look has changed me inside too. It's making me a better person and knowing that I do have the power to control food intake is success breeding success. Eating to live, instead of living to eat...that's me.

So, thank you Hollye, for being honest and sharing your journey and in a way, giving me permission to do the same.

Happy Friday all.

Stitching

So I'm really into stitching on paper these days, in a number of different ways--rub-ons, hand stitching, machine stitching, pen stitching...but somehow I had managed to overlook this method of heat-embossed stamped stitching that is shown on this Belgian stamper's blog. Isn't that cool? I love the shine of it. :)

I'm thinking about ordering this book: Sewing on Paper. Have you seen it in person? {I'm not a huge fan of order books sight unseen...}

Happy Thursday!

Hello Hello Anyone Home?

Life has been yanking my chain for a few days...I know you've been waiting with baited breath, right? (LOL)


So let's re-cap quickly.


1-We had a fire last Friday night. Small fire, but stinky nonetheless. Grey's been walking around saying "the dryer wire cought fire". Joal was doing laundry and sitting at the computer when a faulty wire in the plug sparked and ignited the wall behind the dryer. He was able to get it put out with the fire extinguisher but we called the fire department anyway, to be sure. They came (2 engines, full sirens), looked things over, tore out a major section of the wall and suggested we call an electrician. (Of course, Julian was thrilled to see the firemen in action, even if it was in our house.)


On a separate note, firemen amaze me. I think I'm maybe almost as awed as my son. What they do is extra-ordinary. To walk in when others are running away. To assess and react in such a short amount of time, with so much on the line. To walk in to any situation like you own the place with confidence and command. Not to mention actually walking around in 40 pounds of bulky gear.


2-My Quickutz class at Scrap'n Memories is filling out nicely. I'm excited to be teching again.


3-We took a drive on Saturday up to a new scrapboook store in Clarksville TN. It was bitterly cold and the boys had major cabin fever, so rather than leave Joal with them cooped up in the house, they all came with. (Clarksville is about an hour away.) Due to some bad info, we had a little trouble finding the place, but finally called and got directions. The store is very small. I'm writing a new blog at so I'll post my full reveiw there.


Here's the store:



And just for the fun of it, I love this picture! Happy Wednesday!

Godspeed little brother

Be strong and safe, my brother.

Is it too early to start packing?

It's a lovely 44 degrees in Middle TN today...and the weather-people are taunting the children with "snow maybes" and boosting Kroger's daily sales, I'm sure. Southerner's deal with any threat of snow by buying groceries--something I've always found amusing, even though I am genetically required to participate in the "it-might-snow-three-flakes-we-must-stock-up" run to the grocery. Honestly, I would love to see some snow...I'm in desperate need of something new to photograph and snow is always so fun but if it could hold off for one more day, I'd be grateful.

All in all, I am wishing for the time to pass just a bit more quickly. Our cruise to Jamaica/Grand Cayman leaves from Fort Lauderdale on March 1. We are flying down a day early. That's 44 days.

I'm so ready.

In other news, the information about the Quickutz Club has been posted on the Scrap'n Memories blog, along with the 2 pages we'll be doing in the introductory class. I'm so excited about this! Did you see the new release yesterday...that huge Diesel. Lovin' that.

Speaking of Quickutz, a few weeks ago, my honey was training a colleague in central Utah. They were seeing old clients and calling on potential ones all over Orem. At one point during the day, they stopped to see a client and as they were entering the building, Joal stopped short. He was looking at a sign for a different office and he said to his partner, "Dude, do you know how much of my money goes to that company?" Sure enough, he was standing smack dab in front of the Quickutz home office! (I would kill for a picture.) :)

Lucky boy.

Anyway, I must be in a mood or something (or something) because little things seem to be annoying me to no end lately. For example, why can't my mail carrier close my mailbox door all the way? Is wet mail a requirement for customer satisfaction these days? And why do 11-year-old boys refuse to close cabinet doors and refrigerator doors? Is this really so hard? And why does Lisa Bearnson (maven of scrapbooking) have to call her latest kit of the month "The Greatest Love Story Ever Told"? Come on. I get that every love story is great but let's not go overboard. Even the greatest love story is not *the greatest love story ever told*...seems to me that title should belong to something a little more divine and a little less about paper hearts and stickers.

And why did Publix stop stocking my favorite cups of yogurt?

It's a nasty, winter mood, I tell you and there's only one cure...a beach in the Caribbean. :) In 44 days.

Something Funny

Odd things make me laugh.

It's evening. I'm sitting downstairs at my computer, scrapbooking.
The boys are upstairs watching a tv show about how things are made called "Some Assembly Required" on the Discovery Channel.

It's a good show...very interesting. Never problematic for the over-active tv monitor that lives in my head but of course, I'm half listening anyway.

This segment is about how Jelly Belly Jelly Beans are made.

This statement makes me laugh out loud:

"Every day, approximately 1000 pounds of mishapen, broken or otherwise imperfect Jelly Bellys don't make the cut. Rest assured they are not thrown away. They are re-packaged and sold as...of course..."Belly Flops".

Someone has a fantastic sense of funny.

:)

Button Tree again

My little button tree creation is done.
Click here to see.

Happy Tuesday.

Standbys

There's something to be said for consistency, no?

One of my favorite "standbys" is a well-designed set of black letter stickers. Like a little black dress, you can never go wrong with a black alphabet sticker title. I have a few that I use regularly, including this one from Making Memories and this one from Scenic Route. Notice that both sets offer *all* letters of the alphabet, including X. :)

Does anyone need or want any clear buttons? I have too many and need to share. Let me know.

Happy Tuesday!

Button Love

I just love the button trees that have been so outrageously popular lately. Quite a few have been posted at peas, like:

--this yummy pink creation from Jennifer Stewart

--this one from another pea "blondie 11721"

--this one from Gretchen Owens is really beautiful

--and this one from another Sarah (she said it took 8 hours...mine didn't take nearly that long.)

--and this one from Tia Bennett - if you want instructions (very detailed instructions) go to this one

--and yeah, if you wanna see more...google "button tree". There a tons.

Since I missed doing one for Christmas, I thought it would be cool to do a Valentines one. At least, that was the original plan but I'm pretty sure it's going to stay around for many moons. I really like it. I was thinking that by pulling out some of the darker reds and putting in some pale greens and pale blues, it could easily become an Easter button tree!

So far, I've pinned 200 buttons and yes, as one might guess, it's a little tedious, so I enlisted Julian's help. I held the buttons on and he crammed in the pins. At one point, I selected a white button and he said "Mom, you need a dark pink there." ((snort)) Crafty boy.

I found the grab bag of Bubblegum buttons (isn't that an appropriate name?) at http://www.morebuttons.com/ (very affordable). One bag will be plenty...with leftovers. My tree, which is on a 9" cone form ($3.69) isn't quite complete yet because I ran out of pins. I used pearl-head pins from Michaels (100 pins for $2.49) and so far I have used 2 packs. I think it will probably take at least 1.5 more packs of pins to finish. I think Walmart carries less expensive pins. I noticed that some people used the pins with smaller heads but I couldn't find those at Micheals so I went with the larger ones. I bet the smaller ones are less expensive.

I used a white form because I didn't want to paint it. White styro has a slight glitter to it that adds a nice touch--not that much of the cone is showing. :)

If I were super indulgent, I would have covered the cone in a pretty pink satin ribbon and spaced the buttons out a little more.

Happy Buttoning!

Pure Eye Candy for the Textile Lover

Don't get drool on your monitor...when you check out this amazing eye candy for those of us who enjoy dreamy textiles! Those pillows...oh man.

Snowmen and Quickutz

Isn't this just sweet? It's from the Quickutz site demonstrating the Snowday Alpha Set. Here are the other ideas offered for that set. I love those little snowmen. In fact, I'm making a snowflake chain tonight.

Speaking of Quickutz, my favorite local scrapbook store is starting a Quickutz club and as the coordinator of said club, I would like to invite each of you to join us. This coming Saturday (Jan 12) is the Class Preview Day at Scrap'n Memories from 10 am to 2 pm. Drop by the store for a quickie make-and-take featuring the Quickutz Revolution and these adorable snowmen and learn all the details of the newly-forming club, called *Quickutz Konnections*.

We are also offering an introductory class on Saturday, Jan 26 at 2pm that will feature a fetching Christmas Ornament layout, perfect for those Christmas photos that you are no-doubt ready to print. :)

Quickutz is the punch art of the future! If you are local to Nashville and surrounding parts, please consider stopping by on Saturday or joining us for the class on 1.26. If you can't make it, but are interested, email me and I will mail you the brochure about the club.

Finally, our *Quickutz Konnections* club is open to those who are new to QK and those who already love the QK tools. Newbies will learn all the basics and those with advanced knowledge will enjoy extreme amounts of inspiration and extensive techniques.

PS A closed-circuit note for Tracie...do you read Chris Cutler's blog? Don't miss this, my Mayberry-loving friend. (The rest of you can peek too. It's sweet.)

Too many ideas?

I've always had a microscopically short attention span and it seems to be getting smaller as I get older. I get bored easily and repetitive tasks make me absolutely nuts. (This would be the main reason I was a horrible secretary.) Too much repetition makes me jumpy, grumpy and anxious. I have a physical reaction to watching factory workers on television do the same thing thousands of times a day. That's my personal idea of hel*.

If we are talking character flaws, mine is definately not following thru with things--especially repetitive tasks.

I've had a really really hard time focusing lately. I know that forgetfulness/lack of attention to details is one of the common symptoms of diabetes--one of the most annoying for sure. (Just one more reason to hate this disease.)

I tell you this because I need ways to overcome this or at least ways to maintain a higher degree of sanity. I write things down. My lists have lists. I set my phone alarm to remind me of things. I have Joal, who has never forgotten anything. I take pictures of things. All this, and still, things are slipping thru the cracks.

I can't focus on one scrapbook page at the time, so I have a heaping stack of half-finished pages. I lose things. Lots of things. I have, in the past three weeks, purchased the same bottle of silver glitter glue 3 times, because I have forgotten that I bought it already and where I put it. (Anyone need some silver glitter glue?)

I feel like I'm flapping in the wind creatively. I have lots of good ideas...inspiration abounds. I look at books and find things I want to do...then I forget what it was I wanted to do.

Focus. I just want to be able focus.

To make matters worse, I haven't had pictures printed in months and now I am completely overwhelmed by all the pictures on my hard drive that need to be printed. It seems like such a huge repetitve task...I can't even start.

This is how I feel today:

Worms - pronounced "Woms"

It's unusually warm here today...high of 72, can you believe it? My sons are enjoying a break from the grips of cabin fever. G discovered a "wom" while digging and of course, he had to show it off.

Paper Tearing Lives

Paper tearing is one of my favorite techniques of all time. It was hot for a while and then, as techniques do, it's popularity seemed to wain a bit. OK alot. Personally, I still enjoy it and hate that it gets overlooked so much. I get a little thrill whenever I see a good case of paper tearing in a magazine and when I saw this LO by Gretchen McElveen in the Feb CK I couldn't help but smile.

Valentines Day Goodies!

Look at the yummy Valentines goodies I discovered at Michaels today (thanks to a sweet little gift card from a friend)! The stamps are from the $1 bin - can you believe it? And I gave in to the Martha stuff...it's ribbon and bling. And I used my half-off coupon on a new pair of scissors! Fiskars spring-loaded 8" beauties. Ah, joy.

People keep using my scissors inappropriately and it drives me insane! I've been thinking - Captain Hunt, the main character on Andromeda, used a force lance as his main weapon and he wore it in a holster strapped to his leg. Force lance technology used an instant DNA-recognition system to identify the user as the owner. If a foe (or anyone besides the Captain) tried to use the Captain's weapon, the weapon e-x-p-l-o-d-e-d. Ha! I think I may need that kind of set-up for my good scissors.

In other news, I'm a genius. Or at the very least, a good mommy today. :) While we were running some errands I passed one of the local adult beverage retailers, and noticed that their porch was covered in empty boxes. Now usually, we only gather boxes when we're moving or needing to ship something but it occurred to me that boxes make great toys. I turned around and went back and loaded all the empty boxes that would fit, into our Jeep! The boys have been making box towers for a solid hour! Build 'em up, knock 'em down. Grey keeps standing behind his tower of boxes and saying "Momma can you see me?" Good fun for those of us stuck indoors, hiding from the cold. Cheap too. :)

Happy Friday friends! And happy birthday Army Andy!!

PS Don't give in to the reduced-price seasonal chocolates at Target. There's a reason they didn't sell. :) Lowering the price does not make them taste any better. Trust. me.

Wanna Work together?

2Peas is offering a blog challenge from the GGs. Identify the papers shown here.

ROW 1
1. KI Memories
2.
3. Basic Grey
4.
5.

ROW 2
6.
7.
8.
9. Chatterbox
10.

ROW 3
11. Me and My Big Ideas
12.
13.
14.
15.

ROW 4
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.

ROW 5
21. Jenni Bowlin
22. Christina Cole
23.
24.
25. Daisy D's

Not very good at this, am I. Oh well.

Travels and Shopping!

We knew Army Andy would be home sometime in January...as it turns out he arrived on Saturday, December 29. (For once the Army pace was faster than expected. Bless them.) I made a flying trip to see him over the New Year's holiday. I left Saturday morning and came home New Year's Day, driving more than 1400 miles in all. It was worth every. single. mile. I drove to put my arms around that boy again. He's taller and bulkier than I remember, and he walks differently. And yes, he's a little cocky. Would we have it any other way? LOL! It was just good to be near him for a bit.

It was also very nice to see the rest of my family and spend some time away from home alone. During Christmas I missed my family so much...I was so glad to see them. I almost never get to spend time with my parents without my children...it was a nice change and an added bonus. Driving alone is a very relaxing thing to me. I can turn up the radio and sing like an idiot without caring about who may be listening. I can stop or not stop, depending not on who needs to "go", other than myself. I can shop in peace along the way.

Speaking of shopping...

On Saturday, I stopped in Jackson, TN at Memory Boutique and at both of the scrapbook stores in Memphis--Archiver's and Eclectica, the new chain store and the inde store, respectively. Unfortunately, Memory Boutique was going out of business. What they had was half price, although there wasn't much left. That stop only took about ten minutes. It's sad that they are closing...but the owner I spoke to said that they are hoping to find a place with less expensive rent and re-open. I hope that works out for them.

This was my first adventure into an Archiver's (this Memphis location has been open since September I think) and I have to say, it wasn't bad. I confess--I didn't really want to like it--my heart is always with inde stores, and Archiver's is a chain--but, dang. They had everything! And then some. I did some damage and even found several things I've been searching for locally without success. (Mostly things I think Scrap It would have offered if they were still around...boo hoo.) It was not a personalized experience like visiting an inde store usually is, but it was hugely stocked. There were a ton of people there and a serious crop going on in the crop area.

My greatest discovery was an iridescent white glitter paper from the new Smitten line by K&Co. Even at a whopping $2 a sheet, (insert the super-big-eyed "oh my goodness" emoticon here) it's awesome because it is thin enough to be used with the QK Revolution die for Snowflakes! Love that! (Other glitter papers I have tried have been too thick.) I've already started making glittery snowflakes with the Revolution flake die and they are positively yummy. I tried taking a picture but I can't capture the "glittery-ness" so you'll just have to use some imagination. :)

I also picked up the giga-sized scalloped circle punch from Marvy-Uchida. Talk about a freakin' big punch! The scalloped circle punch is just a hair shy of three inches across! I've been eyeing it for a while but didn't want to have to pay the outrageous shipping costs to order it online. (Cheapness...sorry.) I do love it tho. I'm using it right now for my cards for the Valentines Swap at Scrap'n Memories. Punches have always made me giddy and this one--even tho it probably weighs more than my actual heart--is no different.

Archiver's was (until Saturday) well-stocked on buttons, but not so much anymore...I indulged in those pretty packages of buttons like there was going to be a shortage. LOL!

In my time as a scrap shopper, I've been to all kinds of stores. Little stores, big stores, in-between stores, well-stocked stores, poorly-arranged stores, stores with Bazzill and stores without (don't bother)...but I rarely (like never) get overwhelmed. It just doesn't happen...but I must say that visiting Archivers in Memphis was almost overwhelming. I got to the half-way point and seriously considered sitting down for a rest. It's a very full place and while most of the product was familiar, I didn't want to miss anything! As I noted earlier, it was a very busy place too. The aisles are one person wide and getting around was a little uncomfortable. A few people were trying to maneuver strollers around and that didn't work out very well at all.

The staff was friendly and the bathroom clean and well-stocked. I'm not a fan of stores that are arranged by theme (boys, girls, Christmas, beach, etc) usually...and this case was no different. The lovely bag of pink buttons was in the "baby girls" section...why wasn't it in the Valentines section and the snow section as well? And the buttons section too? Anyway, it's a "thing" with me...but it obviously doesn't stop me from shopping. LOL!

One thing that did strike me as really weird and lacking in fore-thought--right in the front door was a large display of Christmas stuff that was being reduced for quick sale (since Christmas was over). Unfortunately, much of this product was in baskets on the floor, under the edge of the table, so in order to shop this merchandise, a deal-seeker had to bend over or squat down. Ummm, I like a good deal as much as the next girl but I don't really want my backside to be the first thing someone sees when they walk into the store. (blushing emoticon here.) LOL!

Samples on the walls were a little sparse. Signage was ok. Prices seemed a little higher than normal. I noticed that cat eye ink pads were $2.29 there when most everyone else sells them for $1.99. Stickles was $2.25. Other places sell Stickles for $1.99. No Bazzill. I did appreciate a larger than usual selection of 8.5x11 cardstock, tho. The $1.99 bins were fun but the clearance section was a pain to shop. The discounted paper is basically impossible to shop unless you sat in the floor. Aisles were very narrow.

Eclectica is always awesomeness! I enjoy going there so much.

(I'll finish this in a bit.)

A Slight Change

FYI: We are no longer doing the anon comment thing. You all know me and it's not fair that I don't know you. From this point forward, you can only comment on my blog if you have a registered google account and you are signed in. I own what I write--so should you. This keeps us responsible, don't you think?

It takes just a few minutes to set up a free hotmail/yahoo/gmail account for your public internet activities such as blog commenting or message board usage that will allow you some protection against spam without leaving me totally in the dark.

If you don't want to participate in this way, you can always email me privately.

Happy Friday.
--Sarah

PS

If you've been hanging around here very often, you will understand the tidbit of irony of this next statement:

This was in my stocking!
And it's wonderful!

Happy Thursday!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone! This is our card display...it's lighted (in case you can't see). I love that we got so many photo cards this year, but actually, all cards make me happy. Christmas cards are so special to me.


I finally found something to do with all the "fiber" I have - make fluffy, tassle-like ornaments! I made about 7 of these and used up a good bit ofthe fiber stash. I can imagine if they were made using several different kinds of fibers...maybe some metallics...how pretty would those be? (Idea for next year?)

The red ornaments suspended in my kitchen windows were my favorite new-addition to the Christmas decor this year. I used crushed velvet ribbon to hang them. Then there was this simple small wreath with green satin bow. I fell in love with that fancy ribbon at the textile store. Love it.

Just a few questions...

In light of the Christmas spirit, I have a few questions.

a-Is it wrong to prefer eating the crust off the Honeybaked Ham and not the actual ham? (I hope not.)

b-Is it cheap or immoral to put the gazillion batteries that you know your kid's presents are going to need in the stockings from Santa?

c-What does it say about you if you prefer to get a bunch of small presents over one or two really outstanding ones?

d-Does anyone know if I actually mailed my in-laws Christmas card or not? They are coming to our house for Christmas...but I can't remember if I mailed their usual card and photos or not.

e-Does it bug you when the "to/from" tag on a gift doesn't match the wrapping paper. It sends me over the edge.

f-Why do people (read "I") forget that Christmas comes at the same time every single year?

g-What do department stores do with their Christmas decorations and signage after the holidays? There are a few pieces of delightful decor from Macy's that I would love to have. They are plaid wooden dimensional trees...really sweet.

Happy Sunday!

Owls from Ebay...whoo knew?

I happened to run across this owl stamp on ebay...I have no use for it whatsoever...but isn't it cute?

Whoooo

Whoooo

A Christmas Picture a Day - Day Six

A Christmas Picture a Day - Day Five

A Christmas Picture a Day - Day Four

Christmas Picture a Day - Day 3

Remember those gift card tins that I found at the grocery? I added a ribbon and made it an ornament, but come to think of it, it would make a cool spot to hide a small gift or letter right in plain sight.

Christmas Picture a Day - Day 2

So these are our stockings - a mishmash group of old, new and recycled.


The crocheted one on the left (red, white and blue) is Joal's. He's had it since he was a wee thing.

The white one is mine. It's soft and velvety.

The next one is a felt one with a Christmas tree and lots of balls--it's Julian's. He loves the little pom pom balls.

The snowman one is Grey's. Julian picked it out for him the Christmas before Grey was born. Someday, we'll let G pick a new one.


The other two are hanging there in anticipation of Gram and Popa (aka Big Boss), who will be spending Christmas at our house this year.


And yes, that's the world's ugliest fireplace cover. And no we've never used the fireplace. It's for looks only.

Is your Mercy showing?

God blesses those who are merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.

In this time of the year when so many people seem stretched and stressed and short-tempered and short-handed and in a hurry and only to be thinking of themselves...is your mercy showing? Are you capable of choosing to rise above it all and show mercy generously?

Lord, help me to more capable of seeing beyond myself in the way that I show mercy to others.

A Christmas Picture a Day - Day One

Christmas Picture A Day

I intended to start this back on December 1...but got sick so, I'm a little late.

Do you know what I love about this picture? That green ribbon. Why? Because it's there for a reason. Soon after we put up the nativity, the green ribbon appeared on the baby Jesus figure. I asked around to find out why the baby Jesus is wearing green ribbons. I found out the answer from Greyson:

"The baby Jesus was cold. He doesn't have much clothes on. He needed a blanket."

Seems fitting to me...I think two scraps of green ribbon just became a new and permanant part of our nativity.

Happy Tuesday.

Wreaths Finally and Bar b Que

Every year I hang a green wreath on each window across the front of my house. This year, my wreaths were in need of new bows so the process--which normally happens the Friday after Thanksgiving--was delayed until today.

I finally went last night to find ribbon, crossing my fingers it wasn't too late. With some luck, I found this extra wide red satin-like all-weather ribbon with gold wire-edging at Joann's. The roll of 50 feet was only $5. Incidentally, I really hate it when ribbon companies specify ribbon lengths in feet but I guess it sounds like you are getting more to say "50 feet" rather than 16.66 yards. Anyway. I managed to get all 6 bows done from one roll and I bought an extra for the mailbox, the doors and anything left will go on our tree.

Speaking of the tree, it's up and has lights, thanks to Joal. It's been up for more than a week but I've been so spazzed out over making cards, I haven't done a thing to it. The cards just didn't want to come together this time.

The tree is tall and regal and I inhale deeply every time I walk past it. That smell is so "Christmas" to me.

Tonight I'm taking a break from the cards and pulling out my snowflake tree goodies. The boys are all sleeping, there's music playing, and I'm glittery with snowflakes and making little bows for my little tree. Happiness, I tell you. This is it. :)

In other news, I made some Bar b Que in the slow-cooker on Thursday for the party tonight and from all accounts, it was good stuff. Thought I would write down the recipe that I kindof made up from watching some shows on the Food Network and combining some ideas.

From the meat counter buy 5-6 pounds of beef potroast. (Don't worry about size.)

Other ingredients:

1 yellow onion, chopped finely

1 large container of beef broth

6 stalks of celery, chopped finely

1 package of Lipton's Beefy Onion Soup Mix

a generous handful of Emeril's Essence seasonings

2 bottles of your favorite traditional bar b que sauce

To prep the meat:

Unpackage and rince in cold water. Pat dry and using very sharp knife, cut into portions about the size of a softball. Cutting up the meat will give more surface area for the seasonings to soak in and it will allow you to stack the pieces brick-style in the slow-cooker, getting more in there than if you left the potroasts whole.

To Cook:

Turn the slow-cooker on high and pour in the broth. Add in the onion soup mix and the Essence seasonings. Use a whisk to combine.

Add onions and celery.

Add meat--stacking the pieces around and layering as needed.

Let cook on high for two hours, then turn down to low for 4-6 hours. Meat is done when it is fork-tender.

Turn off the slow-cooker and let it cool for about 3 hours. Using a slotted spoon, remove the pieces of meat from the juice, to a large plate. Using a fork and knife (or your fingers), shred the pieces of meat, removing all the inedible portions of fat.

When all the meat is shredded, mix in the bar b que sauce and stir until all the meat is coated. Put the bar b que in an air-tight container and let it sit at least overnight in the refrigerator.

Serve with slaw on rolls. Can be served hot or cold.

Glittery Snowflakes

Etsy has sucked up way too much of my time lately...but I must share this. I think it's perfect. And it's quilted.

I'm feeling quite crafty lately...it happens every year at about this time. I have a long-time relationship with snowflakes, especially silver or glittery ones. Did you see the cover of the January Scrapbooks etc yet? Hip designer Valerie Salmon is the talented one who's snowflake creation is gracing the cover.

I've been trying to track down a super-easy quick way to do glittered snowflakes and finally tonight it occurred to me. (I can be slow at times.)

Michaels sells bags of self-adhesive fun-foam snowflakes. Did you catch that? They are self-adhesive. So, I snagged a bag (of 80 snowflakes) and a bottle of glitter. (My glitter collection is growing by leaps and bounds lately.)

Peeling of the backing exposes the adhesive. The glitter sticks beautifully to the adhesive. How deliciously easy is that? Peel and dump. Use a spoon to press the glitter into the adhesive firmly. Knock off the excess and admire your sweet little glittered snowflake.

Warning to my family...we will have snow this year...even if I have to glitter the flakes myself. :)

In other news, I would appreciate your prayers for Grey. He's fighting a cold--he missed both days of school this week and was severely disappointed. He's not really sick...just a good case of unproductive coughing and being "snuffed up", as he put it. (I have no idea how to spell "snuffed".) The thing is...there's a family Christmas Party with some friends on Saturday night that he's been looking forward to for weeks and he knows if he's not feeling good, he won't be able to go. He really really wants to go.

Happy Friday, everyone.

Squarely under the heading of "It's none of my Business"...

I could probably count on one hand the number of times I have watched Oprah but I did manage to DVR her show the other day where Vince Gill and Amy Grant "stopped by" for a visit with the first lady of talk show tv. I recorded it for the music--I could listen to Vince Gill sing the ABCs and be a happy camper.

But the point of their visit (PR for the new book) seemed awkward and it, honestly, made me really uncomfortable. Oprah asked Amy to talk about how they met. Amy recounted the details of where and when and how she was so moved just by talking to him, etc. She seemed to come just short of saying it was love at first sight. Could she really admit that on national television... because as Oprah, of course, pointed out-- they were both married to other people at the time. Hmm.

And then, Vince revealed that soon after meeting Amy (while still married to his first wife) he penned that amazing song - "Whenever You Come Around". Fine...break my heart. That song is why I like his music. But now...ugh.

Now I think I find it harder to hold their story up as a grand love story (yay, even tho he's the nicest guy in country music)...and to admire their ability to communicate and understand each other (something Amy spoke of extensively). I don't know...it's kindof a nagging detail. How much of a musician's life choices should influence my musical choices? And then there's the whole Christian icon thing. It's a little distressing to me that this woman who was the "darling of Christian radio" for so long felt it was OK to abandon her marriage for a new love. It just seems unsettling to me.

No, this "revelation" wasn't really new information. It was somewhat scandalous when it happened and Amy did have the good grace to lay low for a while (at least as far as CCM was concerned). Rumors abounded and it's pretty common knowledge around here that they broke up two marriages to be together. I guess I was just a little shocked to see it embraced so openly on Oprah.

OK I just re-read that and I should really just embrace my own naivete. Life goes on. Joal has seen them at Starbucks a few times...what else is new?

I'm sure my opinion has no real value and of course there could be circumstances of which I am unaware. I get that.

On a related note, in 2005, I was listening to the Brian Mason Show--a local Christian music radio show that airs on Sundays. Brian was interviewing Gary Chapman, Amy's first husband, who is also a singer/songwriter. Brian asked Gary Chapman "So, who's discs are in your car these days?" Without missing a beat, Gary said "Well, you can be sure there's no Vince Gill's Christmas Album in my disc changer." Dude. That was funny. And totally unexpected. I think Brian 'bout fell off his seat.

And it occurs to me that I do like lots of music that is made by people who's life choices I might not really agree with. An easy example - the Dixie Chicks fiasco. Obviously, can't stand Natalie Maines' decision to pontificate about her lack of respect for the American President while on foreign soil, but "Fly" and "Wide Open Spaces" are still in regular rotation on my mp3 player. For the most part, I don't find it so difficult to separate the musician from the music, even though sometimes I think they should just shut up and sing.

But it's a little different with people claiming to be standard-bearers of Christ. Or at least it should be. Shouldn't they be held to a higher standard? "To whom much is given, much is required" right? When you stand in the spotlight on a very large stage, don't you have a responsibility to represent with some integrity? I don't know. It's after midnight. I should go to bed and think about this tomorrow.

Sleep tight, ya'll.

What to Do?

What would you do with these spools? The tall one is about 14" tall. I found them at a garage sale...but I'm drawing a blank as to what to do with them? Got any ideas?

And in other news, did you see Marci's tags on her blog? Love those!

You Remembered Me

Christmas 2006 was unusually simple for us. We didn’t travel until the week after Christmas and no one came to visit us—so it was just the four of us at home on Christmas Day. We don’t do extravagant Christmases. Usually we get the boys one or two presents—things they have asked for or indicated that they would like. This Christmas was no different in that respect.

When I started thinking about what to get Julian, the list of “wants” was pretty short. He’s never been hard to buy for and I know what he likes pretty well. I knew that his Nashville Fire shirt—one of his most prized possessions—was showing how much it had been worn and was needing to be replaced. Replacing a NFD shirt is not an easy task. For security reasons, NFD doesn’t sell their shirts to the general public, as they once did. To get one, you have to be a fire fighter or know one who is willing to get one for you. Unfortunately, we don’t know any fire fighters that well. Late in the fall, we had several conversations about the ragged t-shirt and what we should do with it. Obviously, throwing it out just wasn’t an acceptable option for Julian. I told him it was going to be very difficult to replace it and while I tried to explain why, I don’t really think he understood the reasons.

I knew it was a long shot, but I wasn’t giving up. In September, I started checking eBay for NFD shirts and near the end of October, I had managed to bid on one and win it. It wasn’t cheap but I knew how much a new NFD shirt would mean to Julian. When it arrived in the mailbox, I was so thrilled that it was very difficult to keep it from him until Christmas. I knew he was going to be so excited to have a crisp new blue NFD shirt.

On Christmas Day, we took our time having breakfast and then sat around the tree to open our presents. I had wrapped Julian’s new shirt with great care in a really small box so he would have no idea what was inside. He opened the box enthusiastically, as any ten year old would do on Christmas morning. He pulled the folded blue mass from the box and at first; he didn’t realize exactly what it was. Then it kindof unfurled itself in his hands and a huge smile spread across his face. He gasped and then he clutched it to his chest and said with great clarity:

“Moma, you remembered me.”

It was one of those moments that made this unusually quiet and simple Christmas absolutely perfect for me. We hugged and went on with the festivities of the day, but that little phrase – “you remembered me” stuck with me. Sometimes it’s hard to be the parent of a ten year old son who doesn’t always comprehend and understand the world around him. Those moments of clarity—little glimpses into his understanding and little reassurances that there are some things he does really deeply “get” are the moments I treasure more than any other. This was one of those moments. It was clear in his voice. He understood the meaning of giving a Christmas gift and he understood the measure of love that it had been given with.

That was all the Christmas present I needed.

Don't Say It. 2 Rants in1 Day.

Rant #1
My least favorite "saying" or cliche in the English language:

"Boys will be boys."

It totally brings out the smart-mouth in me. I have many responses. Like "Would you rather they were something different?" and "Do you really have reason to think they won't be?" and "Is that an excuse?" My personal favorite is "You say that like there's something wrong with a boy being a boy?".
It appeared on a stamp set today in my email box. Ugh. Not buying that. And then I was scrapbook shopping later in the day and dang it, if there isn't paper with this very saying on it. I wanted to rip it up.

Cause I just really don't get it and I don't like how it makes us women sound like we feel we are superior and that being a boy is just some universal excuse for something stupid. We aren't. And it's not.

Of all the things we can say about men...why must it be that lameness?

Rant #2
For many years I have hated those stupid plastic bags that grocery stores use. Hate them. They are inefficient and wasteful. They are hard to corral in the car. Stuff falls over and rolls out. Constantly. Baggers use way too many and they are just a huge mess. The only thing they are good for is wrapping a dirty baby diaper. Really.

So with this in mind you can imagine my joy when Kroger got in *pretty blue re-usable bags*. They are very sturdy and they hold tons. I bought 6 the first time I saw them. For $6, I have, for the most part, rid my life of those stupid plastic bags! Whoo Hoo! And Kroger rewards blue bag users with a whopping 4 cents per bag every time you bring them back in for re-use. Yeah...4 cents.

So with great pride I've been carting my blue re-usable bags into Kroger faithfully for weeks. I love seeing my groceries packed so neatly in the bags. I love that they don't fall over and loose their contents in my car. I love that my entire weeks worth of groceries can be unloaded from the car in three quick trips. I love that I'm preventing waste by using them. I love that I save a whopping extra 24 cents each time. Well, OK, I don't care quite that much about the 24 cents...but it is a nice touch. (After 25 weeks, the bags will have paid for themselves. LOL!)

Now, I'm upping the ante and making this blue bag thing a competition with myself. It's become a goal to never buy more groceries than will fit in the bags. Thankfully they do hold alot--IF--they are packed right. There are 2 rules for packing the blue bags. 1-Balance and 2-Weight. Keep the items balanced. And what good does it do if it's packed so heavy that I can not lift it?

Do you think it's rude for me to ask the bag person to let me do my own bagging? Seriously. After tonight, I think I'm going to. I don't want to be rude but the point of the blue bags is that I don't want extra plastic bags. If you put your mind into it, it's pretty easy to pack them right. Hello. Just because the blue bag will hold six 2-liter bottles, doesn't mean I can lift it when you pack it that way. Duh. And yes, all the cold stuff can go in one bag. And all the fruits and veggies in another, on top of the cereal boxes. No, don't put the magazine in with the frozen stuff.

Somebody tell me I can nicely ask to do my own organized bagging. I don't mind if people look at me like a crunchy moma. I just don't want those darn plastic bags coming in my house when it's completely avoidable. Tonight, I ended up with three darn plastic bags and it was totally avoidable. I felt like charging them an extra quarter for taking the dumb things off their hands.

So now you know.