She Said it First

So, since July of last year, I've been "on the wagon" nutritionally and medicinally as a diabetic person making changes from her bad habits and adopting better ones. As a result of the diet changes, the excercise and some fairly powerful medication, I've been seeing some pretty significant weight-loss, and while I don't mention it often here, because I'm still a little uncomfortable talking about it, I'm summoning the courage to make an exception today. You can thank Hollye. She wrote this in her blog:

As for my weight...I still have no idea how much
I have lost. I know that I can now take my favorite pants off without
unbuttoning them. I do not go back to the doctor until the 23rd, so I will find
out then if all this has paid off. I'm stuggling with the food and counting
calories right now. I think I am so worried that I am going to go over my 1400
calories that I am not eating enough. I really need to work on that.

Hey. I've wanted to write about that...the ability to slide ones favorite, formerly snug jeans off without unbuttoning and unzipping is a powerful accomplishment! I know. The last time it happened to me, (a few weeks ago) I wore the same pair of jeans several times in one week, just for the priviledge of prefoming this meneuver. :) Now of course, they are really too big and it's dangerous to wear them, as they might hit the floor of their own accord. Can't have that.

Weight and weight reduction are such personal issues for me. A lifetime of bad habits and poorly handled emotions got me in this jam, and getting out and up has not been an easy road. It's much easier now because, in a weird way, success breeds success. Of course, the flip side for me is that failure breeds failure. Breaking the cycle of failure, when it happens is that hardest thing I do.

But boy, the accompishments are sweet. Accomplishments, like the new-found ability to shop at a variety of stores. Back in September, I purchased a pair of pants at Old Navy. From the Misses section, as opposed to the *Womens*. Most people wouldn't know what an awesome feeling it is to be able to shop at a normal store and in a normal-sized section. It's something I haven't done for too many years.

Another accomplishment: not hating pictures of myself. In Novemeber, my mom sent me a package of photos of our last trip to see her. In it, was one picture of Grey, with me in the background. I saw it and it honestly stunned me. For the first time in a very long time, I didn't wince at my own reflection. I looked happy.

I seriously doubt if the term "skinnieminnie" will ever be directed at me, although I wouldn't complain if it was. I'm 5' 6". I'll never be petite. I'll always wear a size 9 shoe. LOL! But being healthier, slimmer and feeling better about the way I look has changed me inside too. It's making me a better person and knowing that I do have the power to control food intake is success breeding success. Eating to live, instead of living to eat...that's me.

So, thank you Hollye, for being honest and sharing your journey and in a way, giving me permission to do the same.

Happy Friday all.