I'm finally recovered from my 40 hour buzz to Oklahoma--it was *so* worth the time and money to be there. I had a great time with my family and I was completely astonished by my brother. In the light of the news of the past two days, I am having a difficult time processing it all.
The United States Army makes no bones about their function.
Soldiers are trained to kill.
I knew this before I ever set foot beyond the gates of Fort Sill.
I knew it in my head but not so much with my heart.
And certainly not in terms of the soldier that is my own brother.
I have been in favor of the retalitory portion of this war from day one of the conflict. I have always supported our troops openly. Given my somewhat educated stance on these issues, I was somewhat surprised to learn that I am completely uncomfortable and ill-at-ease with the bluntness of military action. Emotional re-coil hit me firmly in the chest on Friday as I watched a video made during Andy's Basic Combat Training cycle. Somehow, I like the term "boot camp" better. It's less brutal. Although perhaps it lessens the reality of the brutal-ness. Nothing prepared me for even those few minutes of images of men preparing to enter combat and do the Army's bidding. Nothing. Like I said. I knew. But I didn't *know*. Even now, the thought of it all makes my breath catch in my throat. It makes my stomach hurt. Quite literally. (And I'm just the sister.)
Suddenly, it's quite personal.
And yes, I admit it shouldn't be that way. Every soldier is somebodys brother, son, daddy, etc. I get that. I just didn't expect to feel this change so deeply.
Beyond the actual emotionally-charged events, it was good to be with my family. We laughed a lot and enjoyed the short time we had as best we could.
In other news, I'm finding this creative team assignment for Timeless Reflection to be just what I needed to boost me out of a ho-hum-ness I've been in for a while. It feels good to be productive again.
Julian has taken a liking to my Quickutz. We were shopping today and he tried to insist that I *needed* the Swiss Army knife die for the QK. Crazy boy.