I've been away for a few days and I'm not sure what to write about right now. Usually topics just come to me and words flow from my fingers but today I just feel kinda dull and word-less. We had a wonderful holiday with my family but so many things are changing around me, that I'm a little overwhelmed by it all. The people I care most about are all facing and/or making changes--big changes--in their lives, most for the good I think (which is good) but some make me feel things I don't want to feel. I don't want to be all cryptic but I don't have much choice. (Sorry about that.)
Thanksgiving was really good. Going to my grandmother's house is like stepping back in time because almost nothing ever changes there. The same photos have hung on her walls for decades. (I refer to it as the wall of shame and indiginity because some of those photos from my pre-teen years should really really goooo!) The same pillows and croched blankets cover her bed as they have for as long as I can remember. The carpet and the furniture have remained the same since I was about 16. We had almost the exact same meal as those of the past 30 Thanksgivings...that I know of. Many of the plates and dishes used this year, I have seen used for decades. The men watched the Cowboys on tv after lunch. The Cowboys lost...the men napped. There was laughter and joking, the children showed out and were indulged a little too much. She's lived in the same house my entire life...and most of my father's. My grandmother is 76 (I think) and as qwirky as they come. Come to think of it, she hasn't really changed much in the past 20 years either. If ever there was a stallwort against the changing situations of life, it's a trip to my grandmother's house.
Only the children have gotten older. My dad's once-flaming-red-hair is now more salt than pepper. My mom is my mom. She's beautiful and that never changes. I had one of those surreal moments tho. It wasn't so long ago that *I* was the oldest child, running around my grandmothers in a frilly pink Carebear nightgown, playing with my cousin...avoiding my siblings...sneaking bites of pie and sips of red creame soda. The adults sat casually around the table in the kitchen thru the evening, snacking, laughing, telling stories on each other, catching up and being a family. This time however, the adults around that table were me and my siblings. The children running around were mine. Geesh. When did that happen? My grandmother's house may remain the same but the people inside it are forever changing. Siblings are added. People move from town to town. Spouses get grafted in. We are all growing up. We go to college. We get jobs and build families. Who knows what we'll be doing next year...my solemn prayer is that it will be another Thanksgiving Day like the one just past.